Chicken Underworld

You may be wondering why, but the answer is obvious: They stream episodes of 90210 and Family Ties!  Too good to be true.  Plus you can catch up on Melrose Place if you missed that part of the early '90s as I did. 

I also love Posterous.  Best tech support ever!

Today, on the subway during the rush hour, there was this woman who was clearly either drugged or on drugs - couldn't stand up, couldn't keep her eyes open. Once she sat down, she quickly passed out with her mouth agape and her head lolling backwards.  There was this guy with her who seemed to know her.  He kept whispering to her and rubbing her belly, and I realized she was visibly pregnant.  This made the idea that she'd be doing drugs for fun seem less likely (or maybe just worse in general).  Anyway, something was so clearly wrong with her that I was really concerned, and I could tell other people on the train were too.  And I could see people having the same struggle I was having - first I wanted to ask her if was okay, but clearly she was not conscious so this would have been very difficult.  Then I thought I could ask the guy she was with, but clearly he wouldn't have told me (or anyone else) if he had drugged her, so all he would say is "she's fine."  I know I should have asked anyway, just to see what he said was wrong with her, but I admit I just stood there and worried, and watched everyone else worry silently along with me.  When they got off the train (he had to wake her up and lead her out), I watched her swaying on the platform and thought she was going to fall right over.  But this man just led her away.  I know I could have been more proactive, but I felt sort of helpless. It reminded me a bit of the time we ran into a super drunk woman puking into the river, barely alert.  She was with a guy (or maybe two), and I wanted to make sure she was safe with them. I went up and asked, but she was so impaired that she couldn't talk.  So the guy with her told me she was fine.  I tried asking her directly again, but the guy told me again that she was fine, so I left.  But in my head I'm always concerned that maybe the guy with her doesn't know her and is taking advantage of the situation.  It seems rude to him to doubt him, but it's terrible to her if it is a bad situation and no one speaks up. 

On the other hand, the next thought was of a story we heard from couple we know.  While this couple was traveling in Europe, the woman got really drunk, so her boyfriend was carrying her home (slung over his shoulder, no less). People kept staring at him and a few stopped to see if she was alright and safe with him.  Both he and she completely understood and didn't mind people asking after her safety.

The whole thing made me think that we (or maybe just I) have learned to "mind our own business" a bit too much.  Rules and norms have developed, and we've internalized them so much that there is not a clear way to break them.  All these thoughts about not insulting or bothering the train woman's companion kept me silent when I should have just asked, in a friendly way, if she was alright or needed any help. 

http://jezebel.com/5020732/lavena-johnson-murdered-by-her-colleagues-ignored-by-the-army